


Falling Stars

by CielTheStarry



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: F/M, Mental Breakdown, Self-Esteem Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-13
Updated: 2018-11-13
Packaged: 2019-08-23 02:26:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,550
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16610120
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CielTheStarry/pseuds/CielTheStarry
Summary: One night, when Chat Noir has had enough, he parkours through Paris until he feels like his lungs are going to collapse. Where does he end up, you ask?On the balcony of the best bakery in Paris.





	Falling Stars

Chat Noir was an escape.

It was a place where he could be free, be himself and be anything he wanted to be. Most of the time he was punny, flirtatious and quite a bit extra, but it was who he wanted to be. How he wanted to act. Most of the time, it came naturally.

Then there were times like tonight, where that wasn’t the case at all.

He tried to stay away from people and especially his ladybug on nights like these. When his civilian life was too much, and he needed to get away. He was angry, irrational, and very violent. He wanted to break things, to cause the world as much pain and destruction as he was feeling on the inside.

Of course, he couldn’t really break things. So mostly he just ran to the point of physical exhaustion, hoping that his insides would melt and become a huge pile of goo, not letting him live anymore. He didn’t want to think, didn’t want to exist.

Not when his father thought he was a waste, that he wasn’t doing what he needed to properly. When his ‘friends’ just pitied him and didn’t really care for who he was as a person. Alya had let something slip that truly broke him.

“I originally became friends with you just because you seemed like you didn’t have any.”

So the only reason she talked to him was because she pitied him. Not because they had any common interests or anything like that. Not because he seemed interesting. Not even to use him.

Because she didn’t see him as someone equal.

He was able to keep his composure at school, not really paying attention to what was said after that. Marinette stammered through something – more proof that he wasn’t anything special, the girl couldn’t even complete a sentence around him! Maybe she thought he was too, too… something. He didn’t know, but it was just proof of how much he wasn’t needed, wasn’t wanted.

He vaulted over rooftops and jumped over the entirety of the Seine, and he was going until he just couldn’t go anymore. It was dark, but it wasn’t that late. He just really hoped that he didn’t run into his lady. Please, god, whoever is out there, don’t let her see him like this.

What if she thought that he was useless, too?

That thought made him push himself harder, even though his lungs already felt like they were burning through his chest. That’s it, just a little more, and maybe he could pass out, or at least cause something to break within him.

He wanted to be as damaged as he felt.

He slipped from the top of his baton and crash landed onto a balcony. He didn’t know where he was, didn’t care. He couldn’t breathe anymore, and gasped like he had been drowned.

He couldn’t do anything right, not even the thing that he was given powers for! If he could, he wouldn’t have tripped! Before he knew it the tears started falling, and he curled up in a ball, despite the protest his innards were making. At first they were quiet sobs, but eventually they grew louder and louder until he was practically screaming each cry.

He completely lost himself.

He was shocked to the point of a physical jerk when he felt something on his shoulders. He stopped immediately and looked up at a girl with dark hair and blue eyes, concern radiating from her stance and features. It was a blanket, he found out, that she had draped over him.

“I’m not sure what you like, but when I have a nice cry, I like to be warm.”

She sat down behind him and leaned her back on his. He didn’t know what to say, so he didn’t. He was a mess, outside and in, and he knew it. He couldn’t smooth talk his way out of this one, no matter how desperately he wanted to.

“One time, when I was little, I fell and scraped my knee. I was crying so hard I couldn’t breathe, and my mama was trying desperately to quiet me.” She moved a little bit, just trying to get comfortable, probably, but it caused a pause in her story. Chat Noir stayed silent. “My dad ended up flicking me on the nose, to which I said ‘ow! Why!?’ and do you know what his response was?”

Chat Noir shook his head, very slightly, but he was sure she felt his hair move behind her, because she kept on. “Well, he said ‘because you were too lost in yourself. You needed something to bring you back.’”

Chat Noir stared in front of him at the decorations on the balcony. He couldn’t really place it as Marinette, but he didn’t know her that well. As he stated earlier, in his civilian form she couldn’t form a sentence around him, but as Chat Noir he knew infinitely less. He knew that she could take care of herself in the face of danger, as with the Evilistrator, and he knew that she was kind and caring from other nights they had met. How he didn’t recognize the balcony at the very beginning, he would never know.

“At first, I didn’t understand. I was a little kid, after all. But it stuck with me. And now when I cry, if I feel like I’ve been crying too long, I take a deep breath and do something silly, like pinch myself or hold my breath until I can’t anymore. It brings me out of the spiral of bad thoughts I was thinking, and it’s like a reset button.”

Chat Noir curled up even further, draping the blanket over his legs. He was getting chilly, and this blanket was very warm. It was a light green, almost the color of his paw pads on his ring. He liked it.

“You know,” She got up then, and moved to sit in front of him. He couldn’t meet her eyes, and even tried to hide a little. He tried to be subtle about it, but he was sure that was the exact opposite effect. “My friend Alya, you know, the girl who runs the ladyblog?”

Chat Noir just sat still and listened, waiting for her to continue. When she didn’t, he nodded slightly, his hair bouncing from the messy style.

“Well, let’s just say there’s a reason I left you up here alone for so long. I was digging in my closet for that specific blanket.”

He pulled his head away from his knees and looked over the blanket, trying to place something special. It was just a green, really soft blanket. Maybe it was the softness that drew her in to choosing it tonight? “Why?” He found himself asking, and he winced. His voice sounded terrible. It sounded exactly like he had been sobbing his eyes out all evening.

“She calls that my ‘Chat Noir blanket.’”

He made a face, still looking at the blanket. Sure, it was green, but who pays that much attention to his ring, other than Hawkmoth?

“It’s the same color as your eyes.”

Well, that made sense. He didn’t really spend time looking at himself in the mirror while he was transformed. He was too busy helping Ladybug or destroying himself.

“A lot of people think my favorite color is pink, but they’re wrong. I like pink, and I love decorating in pink. But it’s not my favorite color.”

That surprised him. She almost always had some pink accessory at the very least on in school. “Then what is?”

She laughed at that, and pointed to the blanket.

“That shade of green.”

He didn’t know what to say to that, so he didn’t say anything at all. He just stared at his knees, still unable to look her in the eye.

“Look at me, Chat Noir. Please?”

It took him a moment, but she didn’t say anything as she waited. He could feel her eyes on him, but that was it. He finally looked up and into her eyes, worry still there, but less than when she first put the blanket on him.

She reached out slowly towards his face. He didn’t stop her, wondering what she was going to do. She gingerly cupped his face in her hands and wiped the tears away. “These don’t suit you at all,” she murmured to herself as her thumbs slid across his wet cheeks. “I like it better when my favorite color is smiling and happy, not in tears.”

“Can I ask a question?”

“Hmm?” she still didn’t let go of his face, instead just looking at him, her eyes big and open to anything.

“Why do you care? I don’t mean that in a rude way, but… why?” He tried to look away from her, but she wouldn’t let him turn his head.

“I care about you a lot, Chat Noir. You help save Paris, and you’ve helped save me, personally. From the first day I met you, I knew you would be an important part of my life. I wasn’t, and still am not, sure exactly how, but don’t ever doubt that you have a place in my heart.”

“We barely know each other.”

“Yes, but in the short amount of time that we’ve spent together, I feel like I know a lot of you. You’re silly, and part of that is to bring some of the seriousness away from the situation. I don’t know if Ladybug has noticed, or anyone else, but I have. You care about others with your whole being, and even strangers in your mind deserve every kindness. No matter how bad the akuma is, you’re always kind and caring to the victim, no matter what mayhem they may have caused. You always forgive and forget and move on. And you’re strong, and find the most productive and creative ways to use your power of destruction. It’s… amazing.” She was still looking him dead in the eye, and he was afraid that he would cry again.

This person… it sounded like she was saying that she loved him.

He couldn’t think like that, no, he couldn’t. He couldn’t let another person get close. Not after his mother, after his father. Even Nino wasn’t this close. He was scared, scared, scared, and he didn’t know what to do.

“Why are you afraid to let people care about you, Chat Noir?”

He blinked rapidly. Had she figured him out so easily?

“I notice. You flirt and joke with Ladybug, but when she starts getting serious you change the subject or push her away, just like she does with you. And then here I am, telling you that I care, and explaining why and showing how, and you’re shaking, like you’re scared.”

“Because you’ll either learn to hate me or leave me.”

There, he said it. That’s all that anyone ever did, anyway.

“I will never hate you, Chat Noir. No matter what you do and no matter what happens, I will never hate you. I could never. You don’t have it in you to make me hate you.”

“Don’t…”

“I mean it. I really do. I know you don’t know much about me, but I’m a big carer. As soon as someone falls into my life, they tend to stay, because I care about them almost instantly, and at a great level. So you’re here, in my heart at least, to stay. Forever.”

Chat Noir’s mind went blank. Could he believe her? _Really_ believe her? Here she was, saying all of these things and meaning them, but…

He always had a soft spot for Marinette. Even as Adrien, when he saw her at school that first day and watched her stand up for herself, even though she had the wrong picture entirely, he knew he was going to like her. She stood her ground and made everything she didn’t agree with right in her eyes. She was strong.

But for some reason she hated Adrien.

Chat, on the other hand… She loved?

Well, maybe not loved, but cared for. And she was touching him, filling the constant physical craving that he had had since his mother left and his father never so much as let their hands graze.

He closed his eyes and leaned forward, and he heard her gasp a little, but he didn’t go for a kiss. He just put their foreheads together and breathed through his nose, then tilted his head down until their noses were touching.

“Is it okay to be close to you like this? To want you to care for me, like you say you do?”

“You don’t need to want for it Chat, it’s already there.”

After that he felt her lips on his, and he was surprised, but he didn’t jump this time. He reciprocated after a moment of hesitation, and it was clear that they were both inexperienced. But he didn’t care, to him, it made it all the more special.  Because this wasn’t something she did with just anyone.

She truly cared.

She had to break the kiss first to breathe, but she just tilted her head away, back to where their foreheads were touching.

“Sorry if that was too far…” Chat Noir said, opening his eyes and looking at her. Her eyes were still closed and her cheeks (from what he could tell) were a little red, but she just blew out a puff of air in amusement.

“I’m the one who started it, remember? It’s fine.”

“I just… My mother passed away a few years ago, and since then my father has been very distant. I don’t get much physical affection, and I’ve been… craving it.” And for someone to care about him. When her eyes open, it was clear she understood the unspoken words.

“I’m here, Chat Noir. I’ll always be here.”

“Thank you, Princess.”

“Princess?”

“You’re strong and beautiful. Doesn’t it make sense to call you a princess?”

She snorted, and it almost made him forget why he was originally out here in the first place. “If you want to think that, Chaton, go ahead.”

She let go of his face, almost like she had suddenly become aware that she was still holding onto it in the first place.

“…I need to go, don’t I?” Chat Noir said, and it made him sad. Not upset like he was before, not that gutwrenching upset, but sad. It was a tolerable emotion.

“Well…” She bit her lip and looked away.

“I understand.” He stood up and started to fold the blanket when she took it from him.

“I’ve got this. And Chat Noir? You’re welcome here anytime. Any time at all, if you need me, if you need someone, come here. Please.”

Chat Noir looked at her, eyes full of emotion, and nodded.

“Thank you, Princess.”

“You’re welcome, Chaton. And I’m only asking you to leave so I can sleep for school tomorrow, just so you know.”

“That’s the only reason?”

She nodded.

He smiled for the first time in a while, and waved to her. Then he was off in the night, falling. But not because of gravity, this time it was deeper into caring for the girl who had become his princess.


End file.
